FINALLY!!! Apparel for kids with SERIOUS attitude!
These may not be the Onesies that you want to have your kid wear to Grandma's house, church services, funerals or christenings but, if your kid (or any kid you may know) has a BIGGAH attitude than most kids, they're gonna want to style in some Half Pint Hawaiian Keiki Wear from Biggah Mo Bettah.

Now, you're NOT gonna find this stuff at Nordstron or Neiman-Marcus.......Nah! That’s where you'll find all the other pantywaist kid's apparel lines that any Mini-Me can buy. But, if that’s the kind of junk you’re looking for, then just do us all a huge favor and stop reading right now because Half Pint Hawaiian Keiki Wear from Biggah Mo Bettah is definitely NOT for you or your child!

Half Pint Hawaiian was designed by BIG CrAzY Hawaiian guys who have a house full of CrAzY Hawaiian kids with serious Hawaiian ATTITUDE. CrAzY Hawaiians who know how to design and produce attitude-wear for kids that meets the needs of the SUPER-INFANT set. Kids that cheat death (and spankings) on a daily basis.

So, don't wait. Get those buggahs into Half Pint Hawaiian Keiki Wear from Biggah Mo Bettah today and let everyone that sees you and your keiki know that you’ve both arrived and you’re both biggah than life!

Design ONE: 
DADDY'S MONSTAH
WARNING!!! If you see ANY keiki wearing one of our DADDY'S MONSTAH shirts and you don’t show the right level of respect or just plain old run like hell...Your action or lack thereof, is liable to earn you a load of regurgitated Gerbers Strained Carrots right on the front of your brand new Tommy Bahama shirt, slacks and Ferragamo's. Would it burn? Hell yeah it’ll burn! And stink too!!! So, BE WARNED and BEWARE because after tangling with someone wearing Biggah Mo Bettah Keiki Wear, you probably won’t be the prettiest guy at the next Hannah Montana concert!!! You've been warned!

Design TWO: 
I'm BIG ON 100% Hawaiian Milk (Good to the last drop)
So, if your kid knocks back a 6-pack worth of milk for breakfast and six more for dessert, then this shirt is for your kid! If Mom is having trouble keeping up with Junior after he's polished off the equivalent of 9 gallons of Mother's Milk in an afternoon, then this shirt is for your kid.

No matter your story, if you simply consider yourself a Great Dad, Uncle, friend or, if you and your kid just love milk, milk products or Mom's milkers, then this shirt is for baby AND you!

Design THREE: 
I still live with my parents
Alright, let me start off by saying that I roll with the big guys. Yup...I’m rolling sweet in my custom buggy. I work out everyday. You don’t get a body like this by drinking three or four bottles every day! I’ve got ALL the right clothes, shoes, shades and plenty of cash and...Uh...Okay...Alright...Yes, I still live with my parents but, it’s just to help them out. you know, they aren’t getting any younger!

Biggah Mo Bettah Keiki Wear is available for purchase to only the gnarliest kids on the planet....Even if they do still live with their parents. Can we move on to another subject now?

Design FOUR: 
I'm so happy, I could S#*T!
When I first came into this world, I was looking for something new. Something besides that gooey HOT WOMB WITH A VIEW of a bunch of guts where I’d been living for 9 months!!!  Well, right after I finally saw the light of day, I set up shop in this great little house in the small town of Kealakekua. At first, my parents, their friends and my new family were poking, smiling and making funny sounds and faces at me. I always tried to meet their unusual, condescending behavior with a wink and a smile. Hell, I even managed to stay positive when ugly Auntie Viola insisted on kissing me with those over-painted lips and breath that smell like she had just polished off a Triple-Decker Turd Burger (I’m sure she asked them to hold the onions so her breath wouldn’t stink....Whew!)!!!

Now, I believe that things happen for a reason so, when old Auntie Viola decided to try kissing me once too many times, I thought, “Alright Vi, get a load of this!” And that was how it started.......I’m so happy, I could S#*T!

So, if you’re ever on the Big Island in the area of Kealakekua, you just might just run into me and if you do, I'll probably be wearing my I’m so happy, I could S#*T Onesie so, you might want to think twice before poking me, tickling me, kissing me or just being a pain in the @$$!

Now, get a load of this!